Q & A: Should I make my child eat all of the foods on his plate before getting seconds of another food? ⠀

Q: Should I make my child eat all of the foods on his plate before getting seconds of another food? ⠀
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A: The short answer, no. I'll tell you why. When we encourage kids to eat more or all of one food before getting an additional serving of another, we are not following the Division of Responsibility in Feeding (DOR). As you may recall, the highly effective DOR states that parents are responsible for what, when and where and kids are in charge of how much and whether they eat at all. Caveat: if there's only a limited amount of a particular food to go around there may not be enough for seconds and that can be communicated. ⠀
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In addition, we are inadvertently teaching that some foods are better than others if we ask for more attention to certain foods. For example, let's say kiddo is served chicken, rice, and broccoli. He eats all of his rice and then wants more without touching his chicken or broccoli. If we say no, you must eat chicken and broccoli first, we have now created mealtime pressure. Pressure makes kids eat worse, not better. Perhaps he was going to eat 2 servings of rice and then get started on the chicken and broccoli? With this pressure we are communicating that we know what his body needs and he doesn't, thereby making him less intuitive, less connected. This can erode body trust. ⠀
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So what to do? Follow the DOR. It allows parents to maintain mealtime structure without being short order cooks, while also allowing the child autonomy over what and how much they eat from what's offered. It takes the pressure off and mealtime is so much more enjoyable without food negotiations!⠀
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If you're worried about nutrient diversity, most kids will balance out over the course of a week. Maybe the kid who ate only rice on Monday, eats only steak the next day, and so on. For children with really limited intakes or very specific texture preferences, I'd suggest working with a skilled Registered Dietitian (RD/RDN), Occupational Therapist (OT) and/or Speech Language Pathologist (SLP). ⠀
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Tell me about your mealtimes! What challenges do you have?⠀
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Send me your questions and I'll answer them in an upcoming post.